Post #42: “Curiosity killed the Korean.”

Yes, boys and girls, that is an actual quote from yours truly, made today during English. I’d had it floating around in my head for a couple of days, and the perfect opportunity to use it came up. I still have no idea where it came from.

* * * * * *
Well, I have some cool, random announcents that I’d like to tell the world. They’re mostly about myself. Yes, I’m feeling very narcissistic today (lol).

1) Baylor University has graciously decided to give me $28,000 because I’m a good student. Yay, now we only have to pay $17,000 a year…
2) Got my license today, so if you’re out on the roads, look out for me.
3) It’s officially 11 days until the new Juliana Theory CD is out, so all you emo kids out there, be sure to stash $14 away for that.

* * * * * *
Does God still speak through dreams? I ask because I had a particularly weird one last night, and I have this feeling it means something. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it was seriously freakish. I can’t shake it.

You see, in my dream, I was scheduled to commit suicide. Yes, that’s right, scheduled. I had a specific date I was going to do it. Sometime in March, if I remember correctly. Rather morbid, no? Actually, in my dream I was looking forward to it. How strange is that. And everyone knew I was going to do it–my parents, my friends, my teachers–and they seemed rather happy about it. Don’t know why. Anyway, the time comes, and in my hand I have the stuff that I’m supposed to swallow–it was poison or pills or something like that (no blood in my dreams, thank you very much)–and I can’t do it. All of a sudden I get this overwhelming fear of eternity. Like, “What’s it going to be like on the other side? Am I really going to heaven, and if I do, what will it be like? What if we’re all wrong and it’s just a bunch of nothingness afterwards?” That kind of fear.

That’s where it ends. I don’t know what happens after that. Weird. Maybe tonight’s dream will be my committing suicide and actually finding out what it’s like. Or something. Who knows. Like I said, pretty freakish dream.


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