this week: 13 things you really don’t feel the need to do.

1. watch dr. phil or oprah. i think this might be good.
2. follow celebrity news.
3. get anything pierced that’s not on my head.
4. try drugs.
5. buy anything that costs more than i make in a year.
6. go bungee-jumping.
7. read the da vinci code.
8. write sci-fi (though does postapocalyptic lit technically count as sci-fi if it doesn’t involve robots or, y’know, science?).
9. listen to talk radio that’s not npr.
10. make a record.
11. get a motorcycle.
12. learn a brass instrument.
13. dress in drag (and yes, virginia, there are drag kings, too).


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