lent, week 6: psalm 69.

Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck
I sink in deep mire where there is no foothold
I have come into deep waters and the flood sweeps over me
I am weary with my crying out
my throat is parched
My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God

I wasn’t there to watch you drown in the sea
of darkness, to hear you as you cried out
wondering why you’d been left to die the death
of a hardened rebel, you who had only ever kept
the law.

It’s so easy for me to hold you out at arms’ length;
that was millennia ago, and what do I really know
of you, anyway?

For zeal for your house has consumed me
and the reproaches of those who reproach you have fallen on me
Reproaches have broken my heart
so that I am in despair
I looked for pity but there was none
and for comforters but I found none
They gave me poison for food
and for my thirst they gave me sour wine to drink

I wasn’t there, but I can hear my voice shouting
both for your death and for your salvation,
supplication and curse pouring from the same lips;
I can feel the shaking of your dying breath
and the river of your blood,
and the darkness covering the whole earth
because how in the world could the world
be right while the word that created it falls silent?

Let heaven and earth praise him
the seas and everything that moves in them
For God will save Zion
and build up the cities of Judah
and people shall dwell there and possess it
the offspring of his servants shall inherit it
and those who love his name shall dwell in it

I wasn’t there. And so much of you remains
mystery to me. But at the day when you died,
I died, too, and I know all I need to know of you–
how much you would give to destroy your enemies,
and how much you would give to love them.


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