you make beautiful things…

1. My experience with evangelical guys not asking girls out is that the cause is either fear or cluelessness; I tend to forget that another reason, one which is unfortunately rarer but still legitimate, is that they don’t want the distraction while they’re pursuing Jesus in particular seasons. I think I vent about this issue a lot and fail to love my brothers by letting them be free to struggle with this for whatever reason (even while I’m still challenging them to step up whenever they’re ready). And I think that’s born of my own impatience and desire to be loved and failure to remember that Jesus is enough for me.

2. And I’ve often said recently that I’m sort of glad no one’s dating me, because I am a hot mess and no man deserves to deal with that, but I wonder if that’s not the result of my own fear of being that vulnerable with another person who, by some miracle, might be willing to love me in my messiness anyway.

3. Anyway.

4. I guess my whole point here is that no matter what, if we belong to Jesus, we all belong to one another anyway, with all of our particular sin and shame and quirks and bad habits, but also with our beauty and love. Obviously this is going to look differently with a boyfriend and girlfriend or a husband and wife than it will in other kinds of relationships in the church, but the root relationship of all of it is Jesus and His own bride.

5. I went to a concert last night, part of David Crowder’s last tour. Now, I love me some David Crowder Band, but one of the opening bands was this group called Gungor, and my new goal in life is to kidnap them and have them do the music at my church. A couple of examples:

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4 thoughts on “you make beautiful things…

  1. Amy says:

    I can relate to #2 but am slowly learning that, although there are certainly seasons when you need to take work on your own healing and growth, one of the biggest points of marriage is our sanctification. Being in a committed, close-quarters relationship with another sinful person refines the both of you. That takes vulnerability, like you said, and a lot of hard work (and the work of Christ). If you (and by you I mean anyone) think a good reason for marriage is “you make me the happiest I’ve ever been” or “I love you and that’s all we need” you should not be getting married. Stepping off soapbox now.

    1. Exactly. I’m a mess; whoever I marry will be a mess as well, no matter how great I think he is. I suppose that the real miracle is that anyone loves anyone else at all, much less in such a close relationship.

      For the longest time I think I wanted a guy to rescue me. But lately I’ve realized that I’ve already been rescued, and no guy can do that except Jesus. So now I think I’m looking for a fellow warrior to go into battle alongside.

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