thursday 13.

This week: 13 things on your desk.

1. Red polka-dot Nalgene.
2. Bottle of Kroger-brand Benadryl-type pills.
3. Kitchen timer from Ikea.
4. Cup full of pens, pencils, scissors, chopsticks (?), paintbrushes, and markers.
5. A wood bowl my late grandfather carved. Presently full of odd bits.
6. A flashlight.
7. Keys.
8. A rabbit-head PEZ dispenser.
9. A lavender-vanilla-scented candle.
10. A tub of Boots Extracts avocado body butter.
11. Three-hole punch.
12. A box of my business cards.
13. A pad of Post-Its I use for my to-do lists.

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What I am afraid of.

I’m afraid that if the Lord sees fit to ever let me get married, that when we get in and all my sin and guts and bad habits are exposed to that man, he will look at me with less than love, and regret his choice.

But what I am more afraid of is that I will marry a man who will love me until his dying day, despite all my messiness (both material and spiritual), and that I will doubt his love all the days of our marriage, and as a result my love for him will always be tinged with insecurity and fear.

Oh, help my unbelief.

thursday 13

This week: Random books on your bookshelf.

1. Bob Kauflin, Worship Matters

2. David McCullough, John Adams

3. Molly Wizenberg, A Homemade Life

4. N.T. Wright, Simply Christian

5. U2 By U2

6. Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway

7. Ann Patchett, Bel Canto

8. Steig Larsson, The Girl Who Played With Fire

9. William Shakespeare, Othello

10. J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

11. Stephen L. Carter, The Emperor of Ocean Park

12. Willa Cather, Death Comes For the Archbishop

13. C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

thursday 13.

This week: 13 things you want for other people.

1. Rest.

2. Peace of mind.

3. Hope.

4. Spouses.

5. Joy and purpose in singleness.

6. A good job.

7. Healing (of all kinds of wounds).

8. For them to come join God’s mission.

9. Opportunity.

10. Good marriages.

11. Clarity.

12. Community.

13. Courage.

Enough For Us

(some lyrics I don’t have a tune for)

We don’t know what to say
Word of God, speak for us
We don’t know how to pray
Holy Priest, pray for us

When we cannot stand
Hold us in Your hands
And say to our souls
“I am your salvation”
Jesus, we believe
Help our unbelief
You are enough for us
You are enough for us

We don’t know where to go
But You are our dwelling place
We don’t know what to do
But we will rest in Your grace

what happens in the space between

These days, friends, I feel like there’s not much to say. There is always life, of course, and the daily comings-in and goings-out that are its building blocks, but nothing that I feel like I can really write about. Which makes me wonder if I am any writer at all, but I guess I am too busy actually living to thin about living.

I just finished Eric Metaxas’s giant biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, which has had me thinking about martyrdom and discipleship, and how we’re all called to die for Jesus somehow, even if that death takes 70 years. And that’s all I’m learning to do these days. So if things are quiet around here (and I’m honestly not sure who even reads anymore), that’s where I am.