sometimes

This is what happens sometimes to me:

Sometimes, I’ll be plugging along, and all the emotions and scary things I’ve been ignoring in my life will come bobbing to the surface all along. They’re sharp, you know, and so they punch through the carefully-crafted skin I’ve built for myself, and now everything’s leaking all over the place. It gets messy.

Sometimes, like last weekend, I’ll be reminded how I’m not alone, how we’re all covered in holes together and part of the work we’ve been given is sewing each other back up.

Sometimes, like last night, I feel like I’m beyond repair, like I’m so damaged that no one even wants to touch me, much less fix me.

And sometimes, every time, like this morning, I wake up to find that the Maker has been holding me together all along, because He loves me deepest when I’m being crushed by all the things that make me scared and sad and angry (which are more than I would like to admit), and in the middle of my night He has started patching me together again.

Lots of things stewing these days, not least of all my learning how to fight again, and how to rest rightly again. More soon.

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sometimes

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