All your doubts in the dark
Friction into a spark
That burned into a light
Now you see all the ghosts
From a past you’d supposed
Out of mind, out of sight

So if you have to break her heart
At least the break’ll be clean
It might just heal in a week or so
And if you see her in the street
At least she’ll still say hello
But only ’cause it’s too late to say goodbye

It’s too little, too late
She kept saying to wait
For the results to show
For a year, maybe two
She kept looking at you
Like somebody she knows

Goodbye, goodbye
You knew her when
And you wore her thin
Didn’t even try

Goodbye, goodbye
She’s out the door
Should have been before
You believed the lie

So if I have to break your heart
At least the break will be clean

If I have to break your heart…

right now (july 2017)

(format stolen from Mighty Girl, who in turn stole it from someone else, I don’t remember who)

Making: Still cranking away at that blanket and scarf. Lots of garter stitch, lots of a mindless thing to do while I’m watching TV or whatever.

Cooking: I made some pretty decent barbecue chicken to take to community group on Sunday. I threw together a thing the other night: ground turkey, rice, soy sauce, sesame oil, sriracha, and green onions. Not fancy, but it was pretty good and did the trick.

Drinking: I got a stomach bug a while back and got some ginger ale, and now all I want is ginger ale and Sprite and other clear soda. This is maybe not the best thing for me, but it’s doing the trick right now–it’s kind of refreshing while it’s so hot outside. And bad work coffee.

Reading: A lot about the congressional health care shenanigans, which is kind of making me crazy and isn’t helpful, but that’s life in 2017. *shrug emoji* Just started 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You and The Leavers.

Trawling: For a couch, still. I’m thinking I’m going to wait until the Labor Day sales come around.

Wanting: A better storage system for my coffee mugs, because they’re out of control, y’all.

Looking: For churches in the Houston area; I’m compiling a list so I can recommend places to folks that I know. If you know of good ones, please feel free to pass them along.

Deciding: What to eat for dinner.

Listening: Lots of podcasts, including a new one called 36 Questions that’s a three-act musical starring Jonathan Groff(!). The new Sho Baraka EP, Pianos & Politics.

Buying: Boring things, mostly. I need to go get new filters for my Brita pitcher, for example.

Watching: Father Brown on Netflix, based on the G.K. Chesterton books and made by the BBC.

Marveling: How in the world did the book of Esther get into the Bible? I mean, I’m glad it’s there, but it’s such an odd duck of an episode in the biblical narrative.

Cringing: I think my jeans are past due for a wash. And there’s something in my trash that smells like death.

Needing: To get up and go grocery shopping and do some laundry, but I also don’t want to leave my apartment.

Questioning: Why I have not done anything productive today. (Well, mostly. I did load the dishwasher earlier.)

Smelling: See “Cringing.”

Wearing: Lots of dresses, even though it also means having to shave my legs every other day, but it’s so dang hot outside. Also, I bought a pair of red pants not long ago and I’ve worn them a lot this week because they’re bright and happy and go with more than you’d think.

Noticing: “Hey, brain, why does my head hurt?” “You haven’t eaten anything today, dummy.”

Ever-Faithful One (The Hebrews Song)

Download here!

words and music by Amanda McClendon, 2013

vocals and acoustic guitar: yours truly
electric guitar: Austin Dobbs
bass: Chris Doss
drums and production: Michael Brown

Higher than the angel hosts
And greater than the prophets
His is the name in which we boast
The Son of God who loved us

The better King and Priest of God
And sacrifice appointed
Let all the saints with joyful heart
Come praise the Lord’s Anointed

Jesus, ever-faithful One
What do we have apart from you
Keep all your people in your truth
Oh, ever-faithful One
Oh, ever-faithful One

How could we leave behind the Lord
To cling to lesser glories
We know his promises are sure
And he holds redemption’s story

So let us raise our hopeful eyes
To the Author of salvation
And to the Father’s heavenly throne
Come without hesitation
We come without hesitation