right now (march 2018)

Making: Craftwise, nothing right now. But I’m still in the process of setting up my new apartment, so there’s that. Making a home, I guess.

Cooking: This week so far I have made spaghetti (HEB has really good Italian sausage) and a lot of frozen sweet potato fries.

Drinking: I’ve started a ritual, sort of, of having a cider on Sunday nights while I’m getting ready for the work week. I’m not a huge drinker, so this is usually the only booze I have any given week. Anyway, my cider of choice at the moment is Bishop Cider Co.’s Crack Berry (cranberry-blackberry, but clever). It’s really nice, kind of like a dry red wine, but fizzy.

Reading: Still working through Awaiting the King, The Crucifixion, and One By One. Also just added a memoir called My Soul Looks Back and recent National Book Award finalist Sing, Unburied, Sing.

Wanting: These hives to go away–I’m having some sort of crazy allergic reaction and I’ve been covered in hives all week. 😦

Looking: For a desk, and also some storage for my stationery and stuff.

Playing: My guitar a lot, which I hadn’t really done for a while, and it feels good. Also playing a lot of Arcade Fire.

Deciding: Whether or not I’m gonna keep watching this Final Four game…

Wishing: That my lighting were better in my living room.

Enjoying: The early spring weather–highs in the 80s, cool evenings. Trying to drink it in before the apocalypse that is Houstonian summer.

Waiting: For Easter (tomorrow morning, as of this writing).

Liking: This video of Hugh Jackman and a bunch of other theater people in a workshop for The Greatest Showman, which I still haven’t seen, but am nonetheless enjoying the music to.

Wondering: What I can do to get rid of these hives…Benadryl’s not really working, and neither is staying away from my known allergens.

Loving: This 2013 essay by NPR’s Linda Holmes about creativity and making stuff.

Pondering: Someone told me a while ago that Holy Saturday = “And on the seventh day God rested from all His work.” And today I can’t stop thinking about it.

Considering: Buying the new Andrew Peterson album.

Buying: Got a new dress for Easter, but don’t know if I’m going to wear it tomorrow (I have an unfortunate tendency to itch too much and now I have scabs where a lot of my hives once were).

Watching: Ugly Delicious on Netflix (it is really great, albeit hunger-inducing). Also recently watched the movie Calvary, which blew me away. And I discovered the YouTube channel Binging With Babish, which is entertaining (and also hunger-inducing).

Hoping: The weather stays like this for a while.

Marveling: At the sheer absurdity of this idea and the complete earnestness that birthed it.

Needing: To get up from my couch and go fold and hang my laundry.

Questioning: My own inability to adult properly (but that’s everyone, right?)

Smelling: My failure to wear deodorant today (oops).

Wearing: This shirt + jeans. Switching over to chinos soon, though; jeans are too hot for me once it gets above 85 degrees outside.

Admiring: The cloud produced by dropping an anvil on about 15 cans of spray paint. (Where does one even get an anvil, anyway?) (It will probably also come as no surprise to many of you that those three gentlemen are youth workers at their churches.)

Giggling: At this fantastic review of Pacific Rim Uprising.

Snacking: Still on my weird barbecue potato chip jag.

Hearing: The trains that pass through my neighborhood at 2 in the morning.

holy saturday: psalms 130-131.

a child’s first sound is a cry for help
the world is bright and cold and disorienting

and we don’t stop crying the further on we go
the sound just stays inside of us

but comes out through all the ways
we keep trying to fill the depths

like the father said
you have made us for yourself

and our hearts stay restless
until we finally come and trust you

and curl up in your strong arms

maundy thursday: psalms 128-29.

you shall eat the fruit
of the labor of your hands

the Lord planted a garden
in the morning of creation

He pulled up all the rocks and thorns
and chased away the greedy birds

and He came to collect His harvest
one week in Jerusalem

the plowers plowed upon my back
they made long their furrows

He was winnowed and He was crushed
He was ground down and poured out

He passed through fire and darkness
to feed the ones He loved

and now death passes over us
and we are blessed

holy wednesday: psalms 126-27

you brought me out of barrenness to abundance
you brought me out of weeping into joy

and tonight we are gathered
the household you built

the Lord has done great things for us
we are glad

i cannot explain why i need to do this
to waste my one last treasure on you

to fill the room with the fragrance
of what should have been rejoicing

for the unexplainable sorrow
weighing heavy on my chest tonight

except i trust that my grief is not the end
and that you will keep building

holy tuesday: psalms 124-25.

If it had not been the Lord
who was on our side–

We have tried so hard
to maintain even this
uneasy peace in Israel.

We will not be like our fathers
who forgot the Lord
and were sent into Babylon
as captives and slaves,

even while we have waited
for almost 400 years
underneath the weight
of one empire after another.

Do good, O Lord,
to those who are good,
and to those
who are upright in their hearts!

We will not be condemned
by a rebel, by a madman,
by a peasant prophet from
the backwaters.

The Lord is on our side
and we will maintain order
no matter what it takes.

holy monday: psalms 122-23.

We watched you, rabbi, from the walls.

We traveled from all over:
Syria, Ethiopia, Greece.
We heard about your God and we
were curious. We heard the stories
of how your people came up
from Egypt to this country,
we heard about the sacrifices,
so similar to ours and yet so different.

I was glad
when they said to me
let us go to the house
of the Lord

They would not let us in.
Unclean, impure.

We can hardly blame them.
Years of oppression
combined with religious zeal
in hopes that that oppression
might end
will do that to people.

have mercy on us
for we have had

more than enough
of contempt

But we heard what you said:
“for all nations”

Have you opened up the gates
for us, rabbi?
Dare we even hope for that?

palm sunday: psalms 120 & 121.

It is easy these days
To see all the destruction
That we invoke upon each other

It is as immediate as
Our hands and eyes and as
Distant as the other side of the world

It is hard these days
To mourn because we have accepted
The news that all this is normal

We have traded outcry for outrage,
Love for empty points of light,
Peace for the thrill of destruction

I am for peace
But when I speak
They are for war

Save us, we shout towards a God
Who is higher than the hills
Who lives beyond the sun and moon

And yet as near as the roads we walk on
Who holds our hands while we travel
And as we come back home

Our help comes from the Lord
Who will not let our feet slip
Or our world be destroyed by our folly