right now: october 2019

Making: Still working on the afghan–definitely not going to be done before the end of the year, unfortunately, but that’s okay.

Cooking: A lot of fried rice lately (it’s really good with smoked sausage, by the way)

Drinking: A Coke. I’m at my parents’ house staying with my mom while my dad has back surgery (should be pretty minor, Mom just needs someone to be around so she doesn’t fall or something) and it’s the only place I drink Cokes that actually have sugar in them.

Reading: Gods of Jade and Shadow (it’s Cinderella meets American Gods meets Mayan/early 20th century Mexican culture), Ordinary (about how slow-burn faithfulness is actually what we’re called to as Christians). Just finished Red at the Bone (intergenerational story about a family in early 2000s Brooklyn).

Wanting: To try out all the Thanksgiving recipes in the latest Bon Appetit.

Looking: At tickets to Grand Rapids (I signed up for Festival of Faith and Writing, woo).

Playing: Lots of roots and bluegrass music (fall = Americana season).

Deciding: On the five-year plan, still. I need to sit down and actually write some stuff out.

Wishing: I could hit the road this weekend.

Enjoying: The cold weather outside!

Waiting: For Thanksgiving break, and then full blast into Advent and Christmas.

Wondering: How my dad’s surgery’s going–just got a call from my grandpa that they just got started.

Pondering: If I can finish a book today…

Watching: Baseball (sigh), The Chef Show on Netflix, maybe some movies today and tomorrow? And The Good Place, and folks got me started on The West Wing (sorry, guys, I’m still only in the first season!)

Needing: To get some projects done around my apartment before the end of the year.

Wearing: Gray t-shirt that says “Everything will be amazing”, jeans, new pair of Allbirds

Giggling: At this thread of “mundane costumes”

Hearing: The Typology podcast; my parents’ dog; the fan in the other room

holy ground

You used to be such a better writer, kid,
Back before your skin had turned to steel,
Before the world had thrown its punches
Straight into your guts and left bruises
That hardened into armor.

You used to plant flowers for the sheer
Vicariousness of it; it seems now that,
Having grown older, you have traded them
For perfect brown boxes, the contents of which you know
Down to the molecule. There is nothing of
The ghosts of your past in your words anymore,
Only the straightened spine, the metal of
The capital-T Truth.

There is still grace setting the world
On fire. Take off your shoes and feel its heat.

right now: june 2019.

Making: Still working on the afghan–I have a September deadline, so I’ve got to get a move on it.

Cooking: Made chicken soup, which is surprisingly good for today’s Houston weather (overcast, in the 70s, probably going to pour down raining here in a second)

Drinking: A cortado at A 2nd Cup (whose wifi I’m using right now)

Reading: The Color of Compromise, Bowlaway, and Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance.

Wanting: I keep meaning to sit down and play the song “Redemption Day” all the way through, just haven’t done it yet.

Looking: At tickets to New York City or Nashville for Labor Day weekend, maybe.

Playing: This really stupid game I got because of an Instagram ad, but it’s really addictive; it’s called Color Road and I’ve gotten weirdly good at it.

Deciding: On a five-year plan, maybe. Not anything formal yet, but I have the framework of an idea.

Wishing: I could get the motivation to go to the gym.

Enjoying: The podcast Ologies, which is interviews with people who do the ologies–one of my favorite eps is the one on oology, which is the study of eggs.

Waiting: For the 4th of July (which is bringing me a four-day weekend).

Wondering: Who I should invite over for dinner next; what to take my friends who just had a baby

Loving: The song “Cumbia de Donde” by Calexico; Avengers: Endgame (I think I need to go see it again)

Pondering: How to get myself to start reading more again (I’m severely behind in my reading challenge on Goodreads)

Considering: Buying some camping gear (I wanna go do that more)

Buying: This dress (I wore it to church a couple of Sundays ago and got called Miss Frizzle)

Watching: The Marvel movies I skipped on my blitz toward Endgame (namely, the Ant-Man movies and Spider-Man: Homecoming, especially in prep for Far From Home next week)

Hoping: I don’t get a ton of people at quiz tonight…I started doing trivia at a local bar and it’s been a lot of fun, but occasionally I’ll get more than 15 teams and I’m just not feeling it tonight.

Needing: To do something with all the junk that’s currently on my bedroom floor–it had been hanging out on a bookshelf that’s been falling apart and I am trying to organize it into other places in my apartment so I can get rid of the bookshelf.

Smelling: Everybody else’s drinks at this coffee shop.

Wearing: Blue shorts, green and white tank top, brown gladiator sandals, these earrings.

Admiring: The coloring sheet they have magneted to the fridge at 2nd Cup (I’m sitting at the counter and can see all of the kitchen).

Giggling: At this ridiculous Twitter thread.

Hearing: Another podcast I recently discovered (thanks to Ologies, actually) called Smart Mouth, which is a food historian talking with people she knows about the history of their favorite foods.

on hope

There are days–weeks, months, years, lifetimes–
when all of hope that you can stomach
is one spoonful at a time.

Any more of it and it hurts to swallow.

And sometimes it’s something
that someone else has to hold to your lips
and pour down your throat,
or you chase it with ginger ale so
you only taste its sweetness, not its sting.

Either way, it’s better than
trying not to feel the pain at all.

right now: april 2019

Making: Still working on the afghan. I’ve got a post in my drafts that’s a big list of book recommendations, so stay tuned for that!

Cooking: I’ve been rocking the Lazy Genius Change-Your-Life Chicken a lot (it’s real good, y’all). Considering making these noodles soon.

Drinking: The cherry flavor from Houston Cider Co. (it’s local and delicious)

Reading: In the middle of The Epic of Eden and An Absolutely Remarkable Thing.

Wanting: A new swimsuit!

Looking: At dining room sets, because my table and chairs are kind of falling apart…

Playing: Lots of Sporcle quizzes of late.

Deciding: Whether or not I can take a vacation to New York this fall.

Wishing: It wasn’t about to get blaringly hot here in Houston any minute now…

Enjoying: The Bible study I’m doing with some folks from church that’s led by one of our pastors–it’s been really rich so far and I’m glad we still have until November.

Waiting: For it to stop thundering and start actually raining outside.

Wondering: How I let my calendar for May get so full!

Loving: My church is about to start a series on the emotions and this enneagram 4 is HERE FOR IT

Pondering: How to better stick to my budget and why I’m not reading as much as I used to.

Considering: Future plans–I’ve got the bones of a plan to finally start a second master’s degree in the fall of 2020, which isn’t as far off as it seems. I need to work out details (especially the financial ones), but yeah, I have concrete plans to make it happen now, which is exciting.

Buying: Some anti-frizz serum which really does work well but is impossible to wash out

Watching: Started The West Wing! I’m also on a quest to finish watching all the Marvel movies before I go watch Endgame–it probably won’t be for a couple of weeks, so NO SPOILERS!

Hoping: I don’t eat it on this bike ride/scavenger hunt my friend is doing for his birthday on Saturday! (I haven’t ridden a bike in literally ten years.)

Needing: To clean my apartment and fold all my laundry and put it away…

Smelling: Grapefruit candle from Trader Joe’s! It’s very grapefruity and smells really good.

Wearing: Thrift store t-shirt, plaid pajama pants.

Admiring: This poem by Robert Pinsky.

Giggling: At this Instagram post from one of the cast members of the Hamilton Philip tour.

Hearing: Church Clothes by Lecrae! And the cars driving by on the road on the other side of the bayou.

good friday: the way, the truth, and the life.

The temple torn down

The curtain rent

The slain lamb

The offering priest

The pleasing sacrifice

Clothed in white linen

Anointed with fragrant oils

The suspended bridge over

The valley of death

The king in his beauty enthroned

maundy thursday: the true vine.

You were torn down,
Crushed and poured out
As a sign of the new promise
Of God that makes all the old ones come true

All our rocks and thorns
Breaking Your body
So that we could drink deep
Of Your goodness to us